Burned beyond repair?

Ah, you

Your hair, the perfect length
My fingers, itching to run through it
My hands, aching to cup your jaw
To feel all your textures and to feel you feeling mine

I see your hurt
Your anger
Your resilience
Your defence mechanisms
Your inner light
I see YOU

The rift between us is an uncrossable gulf
People have set fires to all the bridges

Here I stand
Ready with a pile of fresh timber
A rope long enough to swing across
Hands held out
Waiting for you to see ME

Will you catch my toss?
Will you catch me?

Firm but flexible

The wave builds
Gathering strength and height
It comes for me

I gird my loins
I can do this
I can ride it
Conquer it

Head up
Shoulders back
Stand firm but flexible

Too hard and water will break you
Too soft and you’ll be pulled under

This time I’m sure I have the balance right
This time I will come out on top
I’m the little Jeni that could
¡Si se puede!

I roar into it as it crashes
My mouth and nose fill up with water
The salt burns my eyes, my throat

I break apart into a million tiny pieces
I retain my soul
And my bits come back together

Damp but whole
Cleansed in the water
Purified by the salt
I stand firm but flexible

The power of the water inside me
Building to the next wave
Ever building

Crescendo

Gift

My heart is a gift and yours to do with as you choose
There are no “take backs” in love
I have wants and desires, even needs, but only you can decide
My fingers are crossed in hope

Treat it well

Theft

The taste of your soft lips on mine
The delicious pain of your hands, your teeth
“We do this so well” you murmur

The feel of you as you slide into home
“We fit together so perfectly” you breathe

Your voice is the key that unlocks my heart
Bares my soul

You pull it out slowly, carefully
Eyes round with wonder as you gaze into the glittery depths

I’ve only seen the imperfections,
But the dark spots marring the shine are the bits you love best
A little buffing, a puff of breath, and onyx gleams

You place it reverently on a shelf

I’m so mesmerised by you I don’t realise you never put it back until I’m hours gone and miles away

The next time we meet I frantically check and there it is, exhale
It is safe
Cared for
Adored

The more time I spend with you, the more it glows from within
Each time we meet I check for it
I’m becoming content
Complacent

Until the time I notice the dust
The seeming neglect

Then it’s gone
Moved
Around here somewhere

I’m betrayed
Broken
Bereft

Safety

Secure in my love you glide away

Torn apart by confusion I stumble,
Fall,
Bleed

A few minutes on the ground to collect myself
Reading the story of the cracks in the sidewalk
Contemplating the journey of the ants

Annoyed at my navel-gazing, I pick myself up
Dust off the red and the grit
Limp slowly back behind the wall

It’s lonely but it’s mine

Storm

Just when I think I’m wrung dry another wave appears and I’m drowning again

Hiccuping
Gasping
Hurting

Swiping blindly through the wetness
Desperate for it to pass
So tired
Too tired to keep fighting
I want so much to let go

Relax
Let it wash over me

It feels warmer, somehow, as I sink slowly through the depths